Faster, harder, scarier, all-knowing

If you don't read the Onion, you're stupid. And you smell. And you probably don't even like puppies.

Okay, maybe you don't read the Onion because you can't read. Well it's your lucky day.

The Onion News Network is now online. It's video. And it's very funny. It's funnier than CNNNN, but more American.

So far there are only three clips, but they're very funny clips. Hopefully we'll see some more. It also looks like you can subscribe to it as a podcast. Not a bad way to run up your bandwidth bills.

You'll never read again™.